chandu ne roj rand pase javani tev hati.. thoda varso pachhi tena lagna thaya
bija divse magan chandu ne puchhayu : kem chandu tari firstnight kevi rahi
chandu : yar chodvama to kai vandho no aavyo pan chodi lidha pachhi mari aadat mujab bhul thi wife ne 100 rupiya aapi didha
magan : ema shu vandho chhe e tari waife chhe ane paisha pan tara ghar ma j chhe.
chandu : are yar e vat nathi panme 100 aapya to tene 50 pachha aapya .. Santa- Mujh se Wada Kar Ki Teri Biwi Ki Pahli Kiss Mujhe Lene Dega,
Banta- Wada, Par Meri Bhi Ek Shart Hai?
Santa- Bol kya?
Banta- Main Shadi Teri Bahan Se krunga..
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Cust:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka H?
Salesman:
500Rs
Cust: Itna Sasta?
Salesman:China Ka Hai
Koi Guarantee Nhi
Ho Sakta Hai Kal Se
Bhaukna Shuru Krde.
""""""""""""
Ganja-Going On Road,Bird Shits On Head
"Hey Bhagwan Ye Kya Hua?
Bhagwan-Bacha Tu itni DhupmeJa Raha He,Maito Sirf Sunscreen Lotion Dala hai.
"""""""""""""
Santa:Maine khat likha tha k meri shadi pr ana,tum q ni aye?
Banta:Mujhe khat nahi mila
Santa:Maine likha tha ki khat mile ya na mile tum zarur ana.
"""""""""""""""
When a Girl friend visit in hospital to meet u with flowers he says 'get well soon' & goes But When a True friend visit in hospital to meet u he sits near u& says 'yaar nurse pataka hai aram se thik hona.
"""""""""""""
' Santa-"teri biwi tujhe bartan semarti hai phir bhi tu khush kaise hai?"
Banta-"jab uska nisana lag jatahai to wo khush, nahi lagne pe mai khush
"""""""""""""
apki yaad mein yeh dil tadapta raha, apki ek jhalak ko ye dil machalta raha, phiche mudkar dekha to ALLOUT chalu tha..
""""""""""""""
Interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 14th October Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu k pathe EVERY YEAR
""""""""""""""
SANTA MUJRA Dekne Gaya,
SariRat Dekha
MujreWali Ne kaha
SAAB Humne Apko KHUSH kiya,
Ab Ap Hume KHUSH karo
SANTA Utha
Or NACHNE LAGA...
""""""""""""""
BOY:Mujhse shaadi karogi..
GIRL:Kyaaa??
BOY:Achhi film hai Naa..
GIRL:Kutte K Bachhe..
BOY:Wat??
GIRL:Kitne cute hote hai na.
""""""""""""
Techr-active se pasive me badlo "bache jb sunsan jagho pe chale jate hai to hadso ko jnam dete hai".studnt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho kojnam dete hai.
"""""""""""
Santa: Are yaar light chali gayi
Girl:Jab Tume
Meri Yad Ati He To Tum Kya Krte
Ho
Boy: Mai Tumhari Favrite
IceCream Kha Leta Hu Aur Tum?
GIRL: Mai GOLD FLAKE pi leti hu. Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya
hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD
matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD
matlab bail gaadi
Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college
aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai
sir
Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa
tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki
saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke
saath rahunga
1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati
roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum
poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin
unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.
Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo
na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada
dar hai doctor.
Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla
operation hai. thoda dhyaan se
karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi
pehla operation hai
Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte
main poora karo aur baad main
aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa
kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke,
bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
Funny Hindi Jokes
1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us
cinema poster ko aise gur rahe
ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema
ka producer hoo
Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab.
girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari
bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar
karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar
karne ke baad hee main bhikaari
ban gayaa
Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal
puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to
samjha yeh nayaa hai
Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV
chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi
hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye
chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main
us samay TV mein serial dekh
rahaa thaa
Jokes in Hindi
Autowaala: sorry sir, meter
daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi
apna purse bhool aaya. chodo
Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko
road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka
board dikhaa. isliye santa ne
sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu
road banaate hai?"
Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti
hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban
sakti
suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de
diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main
poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge
to woh nahi degaa
Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko
kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech
nahi rahaa hoo
Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV
liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke
baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke
liye
Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar
gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari
shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se
milaa tha
Manager: hamaare bank mein
hum aapko binaa interest ke loan
denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to
thoda haste haste dona. agar
dene mein interest nahi hai, to
mat do
Doctor Patient Hindi Jokes
Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi Hart attack hua thaa kya?
Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar
jab aap bill diye the
Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?
Doctor: dopahar jiska operation
kiya tha, woh mar gaya.
Nurse: arey woh to post mortem
tha.
Doctor: to main subah kiska post
mortem kiyaa tha
Patient: Doctor, kya aapko
yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai.
kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne
cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur
patient TB se mar gaya.
Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main
ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer
se hi maroge.
Doctor: sharaab peena
haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main
mujhe aapse baath karni hai.
Patient: theek hai doctor. sham
ko moonlight bar mein milenge.
Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada
rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping
tablets leejiye.
Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai
doctor?
Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke
liye hai :-)
Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari
khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji
se shuru hui hai.
Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh
operation mere daadaaji ko hee
keejiye.
Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko
aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai
Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se
bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe
ho!
Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend
mein baat karna shuru kardiye
hai. kya karu?
Doctor: din mein unko baat karne
kaa mouka deejiye.
Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se
hee aapko ulcer hui hai?
Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko
parcel leke jaaunga
Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine
se khaasi hai.
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor.
main to khaas rahaa tha.
Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab
teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte
ho.
Patient: aapne kuch bola kya?
Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo
na.
Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main
rahoonga kya?
Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main
mar jaanewaale
